Things Learned

  Growing up in my home was relatively easy. My Christian parents did the best they could do to parent my brother and me. I was a handful; my brother was easily teachable.  I always had a wild streak. From biting my brother's back for no apparent reason when I was young, to decisions I'd make later on in life, I was a force to be reckoned with. My marriage was a force all its own. It started with a bang and ended with one, as well. Fireworks filled those days. From mental abuse to harsh words being uttered, to people walking away, it was doomed from the start. The one "silver lining" that came from that union was my son. He has been and will always be the one "bright spot" that happened in that relationship. ---------- That's the Cliffs Notes of my life, but there's a few more details that need to be penned. You see, I'm a Child of God.  Every situation that I have had from childhood to adulthood can fall into 2 categories:  1. God's Will 2. ...

Life for a single mom can look many different ways. "One size fits all" definitely does not apply to her life. There are a million different "plates" that she might have to "spin" day-in and day-out. But something that I think every Christian single mom would agree upon is this: she wants her child(ren) to grow up to be Godly men or women. In my specific case, I have a son. One and only. So I am going to focus the rest of this post on the fact that I have only one child (and that I am a woman raising said son, not a single father raising his child). When a woman is doing her best to raise her child for God, there are some things, no matter how hard she tries or how badly she wants to, that she cannot  do. Right now there is a battle going on in the World. Women and Men are not distinctly separated and the lines between femininity and masculinity are being blurred. God, however, has made them his or her own person, each with their own character tra...

I haven't posted much lately because I've been at a crossroads. Crossroads are tricky. Life, in general, has had rabbit trails that I've followed and fallen off the main road. I'm not quite sure I've gotten back on the main road, though. Life is confusing. It's hard not to focus on the "what if's" and the distractions, at least it is for me. Is it for you? I should hope that I'm not alone to say that life is hard to navigate. I am thankful, though, that I do have something that is a help in life. A guide. A path to follow if we only will follow it. A hope that things will be okay and that the walk doesn't have to be this "perfect thing" that we do. I'm thankful for God's guidance. I have more experience with the "single mom" title than I do with any other title. It's quite hard to make the appropriate decisions with no spiritual guide (in the flesh) to help make them. I know that's where God meets m...

It's been about a year since I've last posted because I've been in a "holding" stage of life.... up until now. So many aspects of life are changing. Some that I have not gotten my "100% total answer" about, and some are just changing how I see and feel about things. Let me rabbit-trail for a moment or 2.... (I'm good at that!) God has not been easily "seen" in quite a while, but I know that He is still there and is guiding me because of unmistakable circumstances that only the God of the Universe could do. It's easy for me to go along my way, doing what I want to do, being who I want to be...but not getting satisfaction out of any of it. God should be the One "ordering my steps" (Psalm 119:133) and I should willingly give Him control because He knows what's "coming up next" (Jeremiah 29:11). With all that said...Why is it so easy to dismiss God from our lives? Is it because we truly do not see all tha...

A preacher was on an airplane, reading a secular magazine that had an article in it about Hell. The article detailed a preacher saying that there was, basically, no such place as Hell and that if preachers stuck with what Jesus said, there would be no preaching about Hell. A businessman on the other aisle of the airplane heard the preacher laugh and was curious as to what he was laughing about. The preacher told the businessman about the article, but he couldn't understand what was so humorous about it. He said he was not a religious man and had no experience in such, so the preacher gave him a task. He handed the businessman his Bible and asked him if he would be willing to look in the book of Matthew at all the Red Letter words (the words of Jesus) and underline everything that talked about judgment, life and death, and Hell. He accepted the task and for the next 45 minutes went through the book, underlining all he found. When he was done, he looked at the preacher and said ...

To the woman that is raising my son's future wife..... I want you to know that your future Son-in-Law is being raised right now with a few specific goals. He will by no means be a perfect husband to your daughter, but he is being raised to be a Godly man that will love unconditionally, show affection (which we both know all women need), and will treat your daughter with respect and dignity. My prayer is 2-fold, right now. I pray that God will show me everything that my son needs to be, in order to grow up to be a Godly man who will serve Christ with his life and be a leader to his family. The 2nd part of my prayer is that you are doing the same with my future Daughter-in-Law. I pray that right now, God is supplying you with the wisdom to raise her to be a Godly young woman that will be a Proverbs 31 woman to my son. I pray that your daughter and my son will save their bodies to give to one another on their wedding night. Purity is so hard to keep, but I know that if we teac...

Hello! My name is "Pharisee". I am a good, upstanding person that thinks that I'm better than "those people" over there, sinning and doing things that are wicked. I don't see my own sin as I see other's. I am not as bad as I really am.  Hello! My name is "Sinner". I can do nothing "good" or "right". My sinful flesh gets in the way every single day.  Hello! My name is "Selfish". I want things that I can't have. I keep things instead of giving them away. I don't tell others the Truth, I just keep it hidden away inside myself. I am disgusted when I look at myself. My apathy towards my sin. The way I won't stop and share the Truth with the people around me, even when I don't pull out the excuse (one of many) "I don't have time." But then my Saviour comes my way and says "I can make all things new", "If you confess your sins, I am able to forgive and to cleanse...

So lately I've been faced with this question (in my own brain)....  "Why Wait?"  Lord knows what I want, but it's just not coming to me.  1. I would like a male companion to spend time with.  - nope 2. I would like to have a job (at least one that pays). - nope 3. I would like to have my own space (house/apartment/whatever) to live in.  - nope God keeps on telling me "no"...or at least "wait".... on these things.  But "why wait?" God knows the answer(s) to these questions, but I certainly don't. AND THAT'S OKAY..... I don't need to know why the answer isn't "yes" yet. I'm perfectly content with where God has me, He knows best.  1. If I had that male companion, I wouldn't be able to help my parents like I do. 2. If I had that job, the things that are important right now, wouldn't be able to be done.  3. If I had my own place, I wouldn't have the help of my wonderful parents t...

I haven't posted in a while because I have been going through a valley and haven't had much to say....at least anything *positive* or *uplifting*. Sometimes, life takes different directions...the mountaintops are far between, and the valley seems to never end. That's where I've been. I'm not sure if I'm even out of the valley yet, but I need to write to say a few things that I've kept bottled up inside. It's not good for me to do that, because it can get so depressing and lonely when I keep things to myself. So here goes.... What do I want to tell the world?  - I want to say that I am very flawed. I let my circumstances, my flaws, situations, control my attitude.  - I also let my flaws overwhelm me. I see SO MANY things that need fixing in myself, and there's no way under Heaven that I can fix them. My son and I were listening to the radio on our way home from church Sunday night, and it reminded me of something that I should be teaching...

It's been a little over 2 years since my world changed forever. "Affair" - that still causes a twinge of pain in my heart.  "How?"  I'd ask myself. "Why?"  Still don't have the answer to that question.  Looking back, I can see the hand of God in those days, weeks, years following my sad realization of the marriage coming to an end. Sometimes I wonder, should I have tried harder? Only God knows the answer to that one. God has been the one unshakable, unchanging, supporting "factor" in my shaken-up, very-much-changed life. I love Him so much because He rescued me. He reached His loving hand down into the pit that I had gotten myself in to, and scooped me up and set me on the Rock that will always stand firm.  I just want to publicly say Thank You to my Saviour for all He has done in my life. Undeserved. Merciful to me. The strength that I did not have, He gave to me and said "Use it for MY glory!" Thank you, LORD!!! ...

Everyday, you have a decision. You have a decision to give God 1st place in your life... or not. You have a decision to acknowledge God in your ways... or not. Job, a servant of the Lord, chose to follow God instead of ignoring Him. That loyalty was tested when Satan, the accuser of the brethren, came on the scene one day. Satan saw Job, a 'perfect' [blameless] and upright man, following God in all that he did, and wanted to see if Job's loyalty had a solid foundation or not. So Satan went to God and got permission from God to test Job's faith. Not everything in this life is understandable. Sometimes a loved one gets sick and it's a slow, enduring process; sometimes bodily pain wears us down so much that we question why God lets us endure those things. Job did not. We need to learn from him. Job 1:13-22: " And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: and there came a messenger...

I was reading in Revelation this morning, chapter 21 specifically, and what God has to say through His Word about the new heaven and new earth that will be created after the Rapture and Tribulation and the judgment time that comes for all those that have rejected Christ. In verses 15-21 is the description of  the "new Jerusalem" and wow, does it sound amazing. 12 layers of precious jewels make up the foundation! Gold as clear as glass for the streets. But the greatest of all that will be in Heaven is my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ and God the Father! I can't wait to meet Them!! I was sought out by God and saved by His amazing grace on Halloween night, October 31, 1995. The night that I asked Jesus to come into my heart and save me was the same night that God wrote my name in the Lamb's Book of Life and prepared a mansion for me in Heaven. The same night, the Holy Spirit came to dwell in my heart so that I could be guided by Him and know how to live my life for ...

As of late, I have been very discontent with my life and where I'm at in it. More times than not, it has led me down a "poor, pitiful me" road. I've tried to get past it, but anything done in my own flesh is a failure, to say the least.  Circumstances, failures, situations in my life have left me.... well.... sad.                                            Is Being Sad A Sin? As I sit here thinking, I still don't have the concrete answer to this question, but I do know it is if it distracts from your walk with Christ. And to be quite honest with you, my sadness and self-inflicted pity party has done just that.  So, this blog post is meant to be a "fire-starter-under-rear-portions" for myself and to any of you that have found yourself in the "Pity Party Doldrums". You might have been abandoned. Cheated on. Abused. Mistreated. Hurt. You might have committe...

I was studying today in my Bible in the book of Psalm and I happened upon a verse in chapter 119 that puzzled me.                       "It is good for me that I have been afflicted;                                   that I might learn thy statutes."                                                  Psalm 119:71 I couldn't get past the question in my head of "What does being afflicted have to do with learning God's commandments/laws?"  David, who might have written this psalm, definitely saw affliction, emotionally and physically. Imagine the physical affliction of being hunted like an animal as David was, because Saul wanted to kill him.  Imagine the emotional affliction that David felt because of the m...

Turning 30 years old has led to some of life's hardest times, but some of life's most freeing times. God has given me a new attitude in different areas, one of those areas being "sin". Everybody sins. I do, the pastor does, the prostitute does, even you do. A lot of people don't wa nt to admit it to be the truth, though. Not so many moons ago, I thought that some sins were "worse" than others. The lies that I told myself weren't as bad as the lies that others told publicly. The sin that I committed wasn't nearly as awful as the lady's standing behind me in the grocery store.                             It is always easier to think of ourselves                                        better than we really are! Makes me think of the woman found in adultery.  John 8:1-11 "Jesus went unto the mount of Ol...

Virtue, in this world, is hard to find. It is defined as: "conformity to a standard of right; a particular moral excellence".  The Bible has a particularly interesting say on virtue, specifically, virtuous women. Proverbs 31: 10-31 " Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil  [lack of gain] . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat  [provides food]  to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins  [prepares herself for action]  with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her mercha...

I look at life and I get so sad for people that go through it without the help of Almighty God. So many lost and wandering around, not knowing that God is within reach and can make life have MEANING. He can give such joy, but most people just want $3 worth of God, as my Pastor says, and not sell out to Him. $3 worth of God- just enough to get you "by", just enough to make everything seem okay, but it really won't be until you give it all to Him. I like to watch people. Sometimes you can tell by the look in their eyes whether they have God in their life or not. There's an emptiness in a lot of people's eyes, a look that says "I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm trying my hardest to get through life happy." If only they could realize that God = happiness and without Him, we cannot experience true happiness. There's a bird that lives outside my bedroom window. Of all the times the bird can sing, he chooses to sing at night. I lay i...

Tomorrow is not promised. Life as you know it can end suddenly. The Bible says in James 4:14 "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." Life is short, that's for certain.  Unfortunately, life ended much too quickly for one of my former schoolmates. Last night, she met her Maker after a fatal car crash on the interstate. I don't know the condition of her heart, but I pray that Jesus lived there, otherwise she is burning in the everlasting flames of hell.  You may not believe in God, Heaven, or hell, but I'm here to tell you that these 3 things ARE real. The Bible says in Philippians 2:10-11 "That at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; and that every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is LORD, to the glory of God the Father." The Bible does not lie, and neither does...

Growing up, I took a lot of things for granted and had a "I don't care" and naive attitude towards life. Praise the Lord He can change the hardest of hearts! I was just going "through the motions", not taking the time to enjoy the scenery of life and learn the little (and big) lessons of how to live. I have 2 amazing, godly parents that led the way, but I wasn't listening to their words and actions... I wasn't honoring them. To honor....or not? Do your parents deserve to be honored, and what does the Bible say about it? Ephesians 6:2-3 says "Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;), That is may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." You've heard the story of the kid at Christmas time that wanted the BB gun for a present and kept on hearing "You'll shoot your eye out!". Maybe Ephesians 6:3 applies to that kid. Honoring, or obeying, your parents isn't a to...

Wisdom is hard to find, especially in the world that we are living in today. Doing what's right is a conscious decision you have to make thousands of times each day. I fail every day, but I'm trying to find true wisdom so that I can make the right decisions for myself and for my son. The best place to start in searching out wisdom is the Bible. Proverbs, specifically. Proverbs 2:1-9 "My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide [store up] my commandments with thee; So that thou incline [turn] thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her [wisdom] as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear [awe/reverence] of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler [shield] ...